![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
- Mood:
disappointed - Music:none
I'm so frustrated with men! and so angry at myself. I have wasted years and years on stupid men. I mean i have spent countless nights staying up late waiting for them, i have woken up early to drive them, gone out of my way to do something for them, or just run into them. I mean, I did it all, just to get noticed, just to be liked. And 9 times out of 10 it all ended up with me embarrassed and feeling foolish for lying to myself that they like me. And they agree we'll stay great friends. I wasted so much energy! I could have put that all towards school aqnd shit, but no, i wasted it all on men. pathetic evil men.
well now that that's been said, i'm still here waiting for him. hoping he'll come online tonight, but if not i'll be online tomorrow
i'm far to pathetic for my own good.
I read this book "he's just not that into you" and it changed my perspective. you know? i suggest everyone reads it.
it helps. it helped me see, that if he likes me he'll do something about it- guys are far braver than women and mostly go for what they want.
but then i convinced myself otherwise. there is the odd guy who is different, who is shy and waits for the girl to make the move.
and so i am blatantly obvious about my feelings, not that i could hide them, i wear my heart on my sleeve sadly.
and i hope that the guy will make a move, and every little thing he does i think means something.
his smile, the looks, his choice of words. i analyze it all, every bit hoping i can find something that will prove he loves me.
i don't even need to find anything. i just imagine, and hope and disillusion myself into believing i have a chance.
when of course i don't, i mean, really look at me, i'm surprised i've had any luck with guys at all.
i've prepared myself for a life of cats and tattoos and geckos.
i'll be the crazy woman down the street who hands out shitty candy at halloween and teaches the neighboorhood kids to swear lol.
- Music:Never Miss a Beat- Kaiser Chiefs
- Mood:
blank - Music:the kooks- always where i need to be
"So when you're living without being touched, there's no surprise that their will be deviation"- Adultery, song by Little Comets
"Her laugh was a question i wanted to spend forever answering"- The History of Love by Nicole Kraus
"Funny thing about the rain is, when you lower your umbrella it's never as bad as it seems"- 15/Love
"Life is what happens while your busy making plans"
"A bird may love a fish, but where will they build a home?"
"Simply the thing that I am shall make me live" - William Shakespeare
"Words and swords aren't to similar but they look the same on paper" - Little Comets
"All things considered it's a game and you're not the winner"- Matter of Time, song by Cartel
"'Bout you're hair you needn't care you look beautiful all the time."- Shine On, song by The Kooks
"Hoping I can write her a rhyme that might stop the tick of time"- Tick of Time song by The Kooks
"There's a hole in my soul and I don't know what missing" - Figures, song by Little Comets
"Broken hearts hurt but they make you strong."- Loose Lips, song by Kimya Dawson
"Even when your hope is gone move along, move along just to make it through" - Move Along, song by The All-American Rejects
"Tomorrow's always far away when you are stuck in yesterday."- Makin' Sunshine song by The Trews
"But to put something in context is a step towards saying it can be understood and that it can be explained. And if it can be explained that it can be explained away." - The History Boys
"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that's wrong with the world."- AIM: FarAwayBoy
"for what it's worth, it was worth all the while" - random tattoo
"Arrogance and rudeness are training wheels on the bicycle of life--for weak people who can not keep their balance without them."- Laura Teresa Marquez
"Would it ever cease to thrill me, that I was the one she was saying yes to? I doubted it." - Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer
"Her existence alone was excuse enough to justify the creation of the entire world." -Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer
“Here's a riddle for our age: when the sky's the limit, how can you tell you've gone too far?”- Rita Dove
"You Don't Get Harmony When You All Sing The Same Note"- Huntly Gordon (friend from Australia)
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened." - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams
"Ein Übermaß daran, Bohrlöcher in meinem Herzen zu sein" ("An excess of being wells up in my heart")- Rilke's 9th Duino Elegy
"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your hear to the things you don't want to feel."
"I have ceased to be the dreamer. And have learned to be the dream." Shaper Shaped by Harindranath Chattopadhyaya
"move on. he's just a chapter in the past. Don't close the book, just turn the page."
"you can look at a picture for a week and never think of it again. You can also look at a picture for a second and think of it all your life."- Joan Miro
- Mood:
hopeful - Music:my itunes library
- Mood:
angry - Music:Adultery- Little Comets
i'm still happy. and i still miss him terribly.
- Mood: sad
- Music:invinicble- muse
(i was gone to Edmonton previously this week)
And here are some things i learned whilest being Alberta Bound:
-It's too flat! Once you're out of the Rockies there are NO mountains. I couldn't stand it! I need mountains! It's pretty much just farm...flat farm. And the town of Edmonton is soooo spread out, it's like the entire fraser valley.
-Why is there two Red Lobsters in Edmonton, when it's in the middle of no where, yet in Vancouver there's none and we live beside an ocean? Go figure.
-Being in a van with your mum and grandfater for 4 days (and driving atleast 6 hours a day) is not fun.
-Alberta should invest in paper towel. They only have those bloody air dryer things. Which are so annoying!!! And gross your hands are never properly dryed, so when you go to grab the handle you get it wet, then the next person grabs it and it's wet for them- hello, ew.
-You can easily fall asleep driving on thier freeway because it's so straight, it's hella boring.
-The West Edmonton mall isn't all it's cracked up to be.
-Their street lights hang sideways. There's nothing wrong with that, i'm just saying, it's a bit weird.
-Never go to Alberta when you're 2 months away from being 18, it's painfull!!!! (the legal drinking age is 18...i'll be 18 in October)
Well, those are my lessons and my rants.
- Mood: crushed
- Music:Everything- Michael Buble
Work. Work. Work. That's all I do lately. And then when I mess up, just a little stupid mistake, that i take full responsibility, for, there goes my sought after booth shifts. I'm screwed over and over by the system. It's not fair. Apparently seniority has no merit in my work place. Sure the work is easy and i do get to spend my time with my friends, but, it's not worth the shit i take. So i'm looking for a new job. Preferably a night-type one because I'll have class in the morning. I'm thinking maybe Blockbuster, Save-on Video, Rogers, etc? Some where without food, maybe a book store? I'm tired of being shit on. It's not fair. Yes. I made a small mistake and yes i feel badly for it, i completely appoligize, but there's nothing i can do about it. Of course by law when one thing in my life starts going great the rest goes to hell. And so now that i'm finally, finally truly happy, work will suck. With my luck i might even lose my job. Ha! That would be rich. Fired from the Grand. Imagine that? How pathetic. No i'm exaggerating, they can't fire me for one little thing like this. But, the man (however short he is) will freak! He'll totally spaz. Needless to say i'm not excited for work tonight. Well that's my rant. Hope you enjoyed it. Wish me luck.
Guess who didn't get in as much shit as she thought?
Yeah. =) I'm still frustrated with work and everything and i will be in concession for life. But, alas those are the breaks.
- Mood:
anxious - Music:one for the radio- McFly
i'm pretty much really really happy =D
- Mood: ecstatic
- Music:jesse mccartney- just so you know
I have returned from the world without electricity and water pressure just a little more knowledgable, covered in mosquito bites and completely nostaligc.
Things i learned in the heat of the fire:
-always chew something while tired and driving
-smores are better with nutella
-loons don't like it when you swim near them
-it's awkward seeing you're long time summer love kissing someone else
-spending 4 days away from cell service is difficult
-it snowed in july
-sometimes it's better to use a trolling line while not trolling than using a regular hook
-don't wear shorts to a campfire near the water at night
And so I'm home and I'm happy but I still miss the peace and quiet that comes with living on a lake in a community with 69 people (most ranchers or retiered people) almost 2 hours away from town. It's a beautiful lake. I think no matter what i see in the the entire world nothing will compare to the beauty of that place and amazing drive there and back. Our license's plates are right, British Columbia is beautiful, probably better than anywhere else. Of course Abbistan is not that great, but vancity is pretty sweet and once you go north it's better. Anyway I'm off, I'll be posting photos later. Love.
- Mood:artistic
- Music:the kooks- shine on
